


Like flowers growing in a bomb crater

by Lastavica



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: A Clan of Two, Angst, Angst and Feels, Crying, Dealing With Loss, Exhaustion, Family, Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Loss, Mandalorians (Star Wars), Men Crying, One Shot, Post-Episode: s01e08 Redemption, Quiet moments in hyperspace, Sad, Sadness, Sometimes you just gotta feel your feelings and start writing., always hope, post chapter 8, tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29473437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lastavica/pseuds/Lastavica
Summary: Aboard The Razor Crest, after Nevarro, Din confronts his grief. But he's not alone.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Like flowers growing in a bomb crater

**Author's Note:**

> Immediately following chapter 8.

Din had no destination in mind as he piloted The Razor Crest off Nevarro, but he wasn't the least bit concerned. Not that night anyway. After everything that had happened, everything he and the kid had been through, all he wanted was to sleep. One look at the little guy in the jumpseat told him he wasn't the only one. Once The Crest had punched into hyperspace, he set the autopilot and the two of them hit the rack.

He lay on his back, exhausted in his bunk but sleep didn't come. His thoughts stayed quiet, at least for a time. He was kept company by the deep hum of the ship, distant beeping of automated controls up in the cockpit, and the child snoring softly in the makeshift hammock above him. In the low light he could see the tips of two fuzzy green ears peeking out. His thoughts eventually settled on those (big) little ears.

Even after a second round of madness on Nevarro, he wouldn't take back anything he'd done to protect him. Still, he'd lost a lot to do it. Kuiil, who now lay alone under volcanic rock and sand, had become his trusted friend. IG-11, the droid he'd destroyed and then hated, had devoted himself completely to the child. It had been right too, Din was sad. As his mind sifted through these recent tragedies, it inevitably came to the most devastating of losses. His tribe. His family.

Inside of his helmet, the array of background noise all at once seemed to grow louder and louder until it threatened to deafen him.

Din suddenly gasped for the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The quiet came back into focus.

Down at his sides, his hands tightened into fists. Slowly grief came over him like shovel fulls of sand burying him alive one by one. It felt like a weight on his chest, pressing down on his beskar.

Some had to have survived, he tried to tell himself. But there had been so many helmets, so much armor. Had the foundlings been murdered too?

It was the Empire. He knew the answer.

He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth so hard he could have cracked them. When his eyes opened again he tried to measure his breathing.

At first sight of the beskar heap he'd recognized certain signets, certain helmets. But in the shock and hurry under the city, he'd never looked for the heavy armor of Paz. If he had escaped, Din was confident some foundlings would had survived along with him. Paz Vizsla would not have gone down easily and he would not abandon any young one he could've saved.

Din allowed himself, for an instant, to hope in that much.

No matter the guilt he now felt over the covert's fate, he knew that any one of them would have done what he'd done. The Armorer had not condemned him, so he would not condemn himself. In his memory her calm, authoritative voice gave him a moment's comfort.

Still he lay there, just staring up at the ceiling, unwilling to close his eyes. If he did, he'd see the empty armor piled like bones, the only remains of his brothers and sisters. Where their bodies had ended up, he tried not to consider. There in his ship, now truly his only home, all he could do was breathe through the intense pain. He hadn't felt it like this since he was a boy when he had gone to sleep that first night, hiding his tears from the kind but stoic Mandalorians.

He took a deep, shuddering breath and spoke into the quiet.

"This is The Way."

As the words left his lips, tears slipped from his eyes. He set his jaw and tried to stop them from falling. Above him the kid stirred. He listened for him to settle again, but he didn't. Instead he let out little cries so Din sat up to check on him.

Over the edge of the sling he was met with two wide eyes.

"Hey, pal." He stroked the kid's ear with his gloved finger. "Why're you up?"

The reply was a slow blink and a sad coo.

"I can't sleep either."

They regarded each other for another moment and then Din went to lay back down. The child protested loudly so he sat back up.

"What's wrong?"

With a breathy little squeak that somehow sounded like a question, he raised his arms.

Still wet with tears, Din's face spread into a smile. He took him out and brought him back down with him. He settled onto his side and rested an arm under his helmet. The child just sat looking at him.

"Come on, buddy. Go to sleep." He encouraged with a pat on the bunk beside him.

The kid looked at Din's hand and then back at his face. He cooed sadly again, more pathetic than the first time.

"I wish I knew what that meant." 

Although exhausted, he was grateful to be distracted from the suffocating grief he'd been feeling. He sighed and finally closed his eyes. The child made no more noise. Instead there was a soft shuffling until Din felt him snuggle against him between his pauldron and breastplate. He opened his eyes and placed his free hand over the child. A few seconds later he felt the little body shaking slightly beneath his palm.

"Hey, it's ok." He said softly and began moving his fingers rythmically back and forth on his back. The shaking subsided pretty quickly, but he kept his fingers moving in the comforting motion.

"It's ok to be scared." He heard himself say as the kid tucked himself deeper into his rough shirt. Din continued patting his back and very soon, he was breathing steadily beneath his hand. In the renewed silence his thoughts began to retuen, but the tiny presence asleep against him made him feel less alone.

"I lost my tribe." He whispered after a little while. Tears again brimmed in his eyes. Squeezing them shut, he let himself cry this time. "But I gained a clan." he managed to whisper between stuttered breaths.

That was the last thing Din said before sleep finally crowded in. The last thing he remembered was that he had the kid and the kid had him.

They slept in peace, hurtling across the galaxy. Wherever they would end up, neither would be alone.

They were a clan of two.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for U2. Always have been and I always will be. Title is a lyric from their song, "Summer of Love".


End file.
